I don’t want to do this.
The specialist finally told us what the rest of them only danced around.
And the dude knows what he’s talking about.
It’s the one thing I didn’t want to hear. Anything but cancer.
He’s strong. A little sleep-deprived, but cracking jokes. Processing.
I’m weak. Sleeping fitfully. Losing my funny. Numb.
And kind of in disbelief.
If I’m honest, I’ll tell you that the Great Equalizer in me thinks that everyone should have a fair amount of happy and grief.
(Oh wait, is that some kind of cosmic socialism? My bad).
And I feel like… well… like life kind of took a dump on Mr. Daddy lately.
(Sorry. This is a bit raw.)
Except… that I believe in God.
A God who has a bigger plan.
One who loves me – every single imperfect part of me.
One who can bring good from bad.
One who is more interested in my character than my comfort.
And the One who gave me this man to love.
And in looking at the broken pieces of my life, I can see where He painfully healed those edges in ways that brought blessings. I have to take my own advice to Not Waste The Hard Things.
In true Mr. Daddy fashion… a quote that I love:
We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. ~Author Unknown
We can do this… because God already knows. He knows every single yucky detail, every single diagnosis, and every single moment of our life that needs to not be wasted.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway
My Facebook account exploded today. My phone buzzed with text messages. Emails came non-stop. Sweet comments on the blog.
Bible verses… typed prayers… threats for not updating…
And this beautiful gem from PamD:
"Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there." ~Author Unknown
And many others that I’d post except that Facebook just went down for maintenance as I was typing this (seriously?!?)
I’m getting teary-eyed thinking of all the times my phone buzzed today. It is probably a record for a cell phone in the hands of a deaf person. You guys are amazing. A true support team. I don’t even know how to say Thank You.
It seemed every few minutes that persistent buzz startled me and each word brought a feeling of being hugged. It is no exaggeration to say that people were praying from all over the U.S… and all over the world.
So thank you. I’d love to hug you around the neck.
“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23
And His promise? To never leave us alone.