Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Passport Giveaway

 

I promised some fun.

 

I just didn’t tell you that YOU were going to provide it!

 

I can never do a straight ol’ giveaway.  Always has to be some goofy rule or general silliness (anyone remember the Stupid Human Trick giveaway?)

 

But isn’t that kind of sort of why you keep coming back?

(please say yes)

 

 

 

Let me start with a story here.

 

See, certain kiddo needed to have a passport photo taken.

But even before that, I had to fill out a form detailing everything down to whether he had a relative that settled the original 13 colonies (yes), and whether he liked asparagus (heck to the no).

 

As I reached question #4,297, I looked at Mr. Daddy blankly.

 

Height?  Honey, do you know how tall he is?

Nope.

Oh shoot.  It’s 11 o’clock.  He’s sound asleep.

Right.  Sound asleep.

 

So the two brilliant people that we are… we took a dadgum measuring tape, one grabbed his head and the other pulled his legs straight.  And by golly we measured that sleeping Pilgrim by the light of a cell phone.

 

How tall honey?

47 and 5/8 inches.

Let’s just call it 48, k?

Sure.

Ohmygosh… he’s as tall as I was when I entered high school.

HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

(stinkeye)  That’s not funny.

 

~

 

Stick with me… there’s a giveaway in here somewhere.

 

~

 

Then it was time for the actual photo.

 

And of course, the day I pick him up from school for it… he’s drawn on his face with marker.

 

(If you are laughing right now… your day will come.  Your day will come.)

 

Green dots on one side, dark fuschia on the other.  Thanks for that, kiddo.

I brought my  Easter egg kid to Rite Aid for the fancy pictures where he promptly announced over the loudspeaker that he had to GO POOP.

(score 1,843 for the kid who is determined to check out every public restroom)

 

I escorted the little guy to the other end of the store where he spent the next five long minutes loudly praying “Jesus, please help me pooooop”.

 

I ignored the guy laughing in the pharmacy.

 

~

 

Really… there’s a giveaway… hang on…

 

~

 

After propping him up against the backdrop, the photographer said, “don’t smile”.

 

(Because really… the customs agents won’t recognize you if you smile)

 

And this, my friends… is what he got:

.

 

.

 

.

 

mugshot

 

 

 

I could not.stop.laughing.

 

The guy actually gave it to me for free because he was laughing so hard.

 

(See the lone fuschia spot on his cheek?)

 

The comments were pretty much spot on:

 

mugshot2

mugshot1

mugshot3

 

~

 

Here’s where you come in…

 

We’re overdue for a giveaway and Katie Lloyd from Scripture and a Snapshot fame offered one of her beautiful prints.

 

I’ve had her work on my big photo wall for months – it adds just the right amount of color and retro funk.

 

Katie Lloyd classic car in bright teal

 

This one has been on my favorites list for awhile…

Katie Lloyd bowl of fresh raspberries

 

This is so timely for us right now:

Katie Lloyd He calms the storms

 

Adore the detail and processing!

Katie Lloyd princess pink zinnia

 

Makes me smile… I can’t help it:

Katie Lloyd toy soldiers

 

But the bottom blue one kind of sort of might have gotten PayPal’d to my address for a certain polka-dotted kiddo.

Katie Lloyd vroom vroom

 

She has loads more prints.  And has just opened a brand new shop “Anthology on Main”!

Fine.  I also stole this from there:

 

anthologyonmain book page rosette wreath

 

~

 

Right now she’s offering a 20% discount for her prints… go here and enter 20VALENTINE for your sale!

~

 

You know there’s a twist…

 

The twist?  Enter AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT with this:

Tell me the story behind that picture.  What on earth did this kid do that he’s earned a mugshot for?  Come on… did he say “shoot the butt”?

 

And if you don’t feel like writing a bit of funny fiction, there’s these:

 

The usual:  blog about it for another entry – and leave a separate comment with the blog post link.

The usual:  tweet it for another entry – leave the link to the tweet in a separate comment.

and the Almost Usual:  if you’re a follower, leave a comment.

 

Because two prizes will be awarded:  one for the mugshot story and another for simply being a follower.  (Because we looove our followers!)

 

Main prize is an 8x10 from Katie Lloyd’s shop (!!!), and the bonus prize is a collection of my favorite things (which may or may not have a lot of chocolate in it… depends on how hungry I get before the post office.)

 

~

 

We pick a winner Monday night, so start writing those rapsheets!  What on earth did this kid do?

mugshot

 

 

**The Fine Print:  Photography prize is generously sponsored by KatieLloydPhoto.  My Favorite Things prize sponsored by yours truly.  Juvenile Delinquent homemade by Rachel and Mr. Daddy.

69 comments:

Mr. Daddy said...

disclaimer: the above pictured delinquent, was not hurt in any way while shooting this picture....

just saying.... :)

Foursons said...

Bwhahahahahahahaha. I love your boy. I am a follower and I am going to have to come back with a story after I get over the nausea from eating pizza and then doing 106 sit-ups. Really, really, REALLY bad idea. It's been 12 hours now and I still feel awful!

Brandi said...

It's early and I just started drinking my coffee, so I gotta think about my 'mugshot' comment for a bit and I'll be back. You can count this as my 'I follow y'all' comment... and I just had to say HE IS SOOOOO DARN PRETTY!!!!! (...er, handsome).

Brandi said...

Ooh, look at Julie copying me. LOL.

stephanie said...

I am rolling over here! He is such a hoot!!

Floortime Lite Mama said...

LOVE it - too funny
"the delinquent has been put into baby jail for..."
Ok I will be back .. I need more coffee

Lori said...

Love the mug shot...I mean passport photo! :) REminds of a recent drivers license photo I had taken recently...maybe I should post about THAT! I'm a natural smiler...tell me not to smile...well, the picture looks ridiculous! His is adorable!
Keep up the God work.

Susan said...

Alias: " Itty Bit"

Wanted: For impersonating a serious boy. See photo. (Not his usual nature.)

Description: Small, brown-haired, perfectly-shaped, attractive head, usually draped in a grin, on short body. Wears glasses to protect himself from self-inflicted abuse with water bottles, toy cars, etc. Face bears colorful markings known, with fair regularity, to the smaller specimens of this species. Prone to bladder and bowel "emergencies" (also common to this species).

Warning: Armed with giggles, hilarious mischief, and a persistent liking of the word "butt". Watch for this individual near public restrooms.

Mom of M&Ms said...

working on the fiction and LOVE Katie Lloyd... (SHE is a Texan now, ya know) and I think that is how I found you so many years ago, through her!

charlene said...

Rap Sheet:
Name: Itty Bit Aka:Tuff
Date of Birth: Will not tell
Height: 4ft (fun size)

Charges:
Public Urination at the Christmas Tree Farm
Farting in public
Burping in publlic
Cutting Momma's hair all ninja like
All boy ornery

Be on the look out for this one. He wears a cape at time, cute hats and nows how to sweet talk his way out of trouble

Brandi said...

Girlfriend, did he not BREAK. YOUR. CAMERA. LENS. with a snowball???! Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

The youngest cousin says " Oh no! My cousin got arrested - HELP!!!!!!!"

Anonymous said...

Youngest cousin's friend says: Oh, No! Are you in jail? Do you want me to bail you out Buddy?

Beth Zimmerman said...

Rachel ... The child isn't a juvenile yet! Let me dream on this tonight. I may come back and play tomorrow!

Saimi said...

Can I just have his picture instead of the giveaway ones...you know like I already won.

Smile or no smile he's just too cute for words!

Shana said...

I am a follower of course!

Shana said...

I think his heinous act was sitting back, watching your "famous" acts of self injury and not helping but laughing lol. Kidding of course.

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Itty Bit
H: 47/5"
W: unknown (they couldn't get him to stay on the scale in his sleep

Crime: In an effort to drop the kids off at every pool (so to speak) in a three town area, this little man is accused of sneaking his way past cashiers, pharmicists, and Walmart greeters to find every public and private toilet that he could, to hover his cute little back-end over and .....(well do I really need to spell it out)

He is also accused of, when such sneak-er-y was not possible, so loudly announcing his need/desire to answer nature's call that it has been heard 3 counties over and disturbing the peace.

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

And you know, that while I have been shockingly absent from all things blog lately, I am an avid follower :D

lifebythecreek said...

I couldn't do my story in the comments, as it required photos (me, photos, REALLY? no...). So, if you go to this post, you can read the sad tale of IB: http://lifebythecreek.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/the-sad-tale-of-ib/

Foursons said...

Itty Bit's Crime: Moving furniture and walls so that his mother would injure herself when running into the bathroom in the middle of the night to find him painting the bathroom with liquid soap and creating a slippery, sliding mess on every surface within his arm's reach.

angel shrout said...

LMBO.. he is adorable even when he isn't smiling. I nearly spit coffee out at the Please Jesus help me poop prayer. shakes my head he cracks me up. Now ya know I follow ya, although in some states it could technically be filed as stalking ahem.

Leiah said...

As I've said before, I'm following y'all like a fat kid behind the Little Debbie's truck. I'll be back with a little something.

Dana Suggs said...

I LOVE IT!!!

OK, I have to share MY supreme dumbness first, because let's face it...I do and THINK dumb things.

I saw the title of it "The Passport Giveaway" and I got literally all giddy. I'll tell you why: Austin feels called to go to Africa next year with a sister church of ours in Arkansas (Yes, even if they ARE in Arkansas). He's starting to save money (which is funny because he doesn't have a JOB except helping me around the house which I'm glad to pay a little for) and he was so upset to learn the price of getting a passport is $115. So, our first order of business is GET.HIM.THAT.PASSPORT!

I know...so of course, when I saw your title, I almost PEED myself! Yes, because I am that dumb. HAHAHA

OMGosh, I'm laughing at myself over here so hard!! HAHAHA

I love my Itty Bit! He'd be a great partner in crime to any adventure!

Leiah said...

Ok, here goes nothing:


REWARD: $84,000 for information and/or the capture of Mickey “Letterrip” Methane, the leader of the nefarious Pootenanny Posse.

Warning: Mickey Methane is considered to be loaded and dangerous. Approach with extreme caution – preferably downwind. If you should make contact with this individual be advised conversations with him can be extremely loud and lengthy, as Mr. Methane is very long-winded. Should he suspect anything, be prepared to chase because more than likely he will step on the gas in an attempt to break (free and run like the) wind.

ALIASES: Bart “Barking Spider” Bailey; Frank “Fluffer Doodle” Jones; Arnie “Air Biscuit” Anderson

Floortime Lite Mama said...

ok I got it
The kid is in baby jail because he used one of the display toilets in Home Depot!!!!
Mr Daddy was all like " a boy has gotta go when he's gotta go .. and those things are too darned misleading"
and Rach was all like "no way off to baby jail "

Buttercup said...

I didn't mean to hack into the Pentagon. I just thought I was playing Angry Birds.

Buckeroomama said...

I was laughing really hard at this post and then I went and read Dana's comment/story and I laughed some more!

I'm totally at a loss for any witty comment about Itty Bit's "crime" right now. Besides, I wouldn't want to mess with a kid who looks as adorably mean as he does. :)

BK said...

I'm a follower! Baaaaaaaaaa, baaaaaa

BK said...

Wanted: All-too-serious little rascal!

jenspurg said...

Follow on GFC.
huntandride@hotmail.com

deanna said...

GFC
deannalw47 AT hotmail DOT com
xoxoxo

deanna said...

he's in kiddie jail for not eating hie vegetables
deannalw47 AT hotmail DOT com
xoxoxo

deanna said...

tweet
https://twitter.com/#!/dlw447/status/169125789936263168
deannalw47 AT hotmail DOT com
xoxoxo

Shana said...

I tweeted about it but totally forgot the link. Sorry my mind is shot.

Shana said...

Hey, I shared on Facebook also.

Emily said...

He noticed that the cat missed the litter box and didn't get in trouble...he decided to try this too. He 'missed' the toilet, but HE got in trouble!

Emmy said...

I follow you of course

Emmy said...

Busted: One Itty-Bitty for charming several little girls with those adorable blue eyes and then cutting their hair- just like his mama's

traciet said...

gfc-Tracie T, tracietrump@yahoo.com

traciet said...

gfc-Tracie T, tracietrump@yahoo.com

Tes283 said...

The Bourne Legacy - the early years.

tes 1283 yahoo

Tes283 said...

Innocent...Future President. This boy will never have a criminal record. He will never be bullied. He will remain calm, steady, and think straight no matter the economic conditions the world brings.

kellyr78 said...

I follow you on GFC(kellyr78)
KellywcuATyahooDOTcom

KHBride said...

It reminds me of those pictures they make you take at some interviews so they can remember who you were.

KHBride said...

It's not a mugshot, it's his headshot. He's auditioning for some new reality show. Toddlers and toy cars :)

Ronda said...

This is really cute. I could seen some of my children doing the same thing, so don't feel bad. It could happen to anyone.

rrudnick@netnet.net

kdschirado said...

he looks like he stole his siblings candy, haha

dogsma said...

I am being punished for doing whats natural for a boy

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

I'm a follower, and well, I'm going to have to think of a good story. I'm not I could even imagine a good enough story to top what really happens to you! That picture is so funny, though!

Angie Vik said...

He's on very good behavior in this picture, hoping you won't discover the purple and green marker art he did on his legs.

scooterpie said...

Sami's idea of what the lil criminal did: as he walked down the furniture isle at the store, he spotted a helpless little recliner, only 10% off! he thought it would be funny to rough it up a lil bit, then claim the insurance money for it. So he put his karate skills to good use and went for the prize.For now lets just say that that poor recliner is never gonna be sold.

scooterpie said...

Aunt Ju's take on the lil hoodlum's crime: His sweet aunt was babysitting him when he decided he would make a break for it-he jumped out of the bath, headbutting his beautiful aunt in the eye for good measure, dumped the bucket of snakes his wonderful aunt had taught him to wrangle in Mommy's bed, continued out of the house in his full nudie glory, his frantic, yet radiant aunt chasing, but not even coming close to catching the 'birthday-suit-bandito' He was later apprehended after some wise man was kind enough to offer him a ride home, but ended up calling the coppers after he could not produce a suitable answer to the question "Why are you driving a taxi & not a camel?" His incarceration is indefinite, but his incredibly awesome aunt is expected to visit him regularly ;)

Jess said...

Itty Bit... why did you cut all your Momma's hair off while she was sleeping? One curl wasn't enough?

Anonymous said...

ITTY BITTY- AKA: "RALPHIE"
Crime: Immediately following the act of cutting mommies hair, then seeing her reaction, he INSTANTANIOUSLY, before thought, blurted out "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE"!! (suspiciously similar to Christmas Story.) The picture taken, while in his "Not So Contrite", frame of mind. Obviously prior to the bar of soap punishment. Im just sayin, sure resembles him.

rebecca said...

I just became a follower. :)

gitrecca at gmail dot com

Tiffany Bleger said...

I love you and would follow you anywhere. Except to the bathroom with Ity Bit.

KHBride said...

"Mom...I was only trying to help. She said her hair was itching her face. She was uncomfortable mom. I was trying to help I swear. I only cut a little bit off. But then that hair was itchy too. Mom, she asked me to cut her hair. I was just trying to be nice to my little sister. You're always telling me to be nice to her...I'm sorry mom"

KHBride said...

I asked my husband and he said the little boy is guilty of stealing little girls hearts ;)

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