Friday, February 17, 2012

The Wisdom of Age, by Mr. Daddy

 

 

I remember as a tyke wanting to be wise.

and reading that wisdom comes with age and understanding. I was continually trying to rush into the future, and pushing myself to understand things. Only to realize, some things cannot be rushed and there are some pretty confusing things in life.

 

I would like to take the time to capture a few thoughts, and things I have realized as I have matured.... :)

 

Wisdom isn't always the high and lofty advice of disciplined and educated men, the likes of King Solomon, Buddah, Mahatma Gandhi, or Einstein. It goes without saying, that these men will add great value to our own lives if we only take the time to consider the wisdom of their observations....just saying..

But!!

 

Life experiences can also bring wisdom. Consider this: as a youngster I was all about the right tool for the job. Can you even begin to imagine the size of my toolbox? And yes I would stress about this and obsess, about which new shiny tool I would need, and what my next job would entail...

 

With age I have realized the there are only two things needed in my tool box... WD40 and duct tap.  The WD40 is for the things that are tight and won't loosen, and the duct tape is for the things that are loose and won't tighten... "O" and a hammer, because if it can't be fixed with a hammer, it's an electrical problem.

 

(Rach in:  I am totally laughing my elbutt off)

(Mr. Daddy in:  SCORE!)

 

Consider this on marital harmony, I have decided that it is pointless to argue on the etiquette and proper position of the toilet seat. I let Rach win on this one and just pee in the sink... *snort* And yes I hear the collective gasp in bloggy land, but consider this ladies, has your beloved given up arguing about this little issue in your own homes??? Think on it to your mental peril... ~chuckling snidely here girls~ perhaps your own Dear Husband is gaining in wisdom....And if you ever come visit our little corner of paradise, maybe you should wash up in the kitchen sink.... ROFL (just kidding ladies... *maybe*) *snort*

(Rach in:  No way.  Just NO WAY.  Now THAT would explain why your mother always bleached her sinks.)

(Mr. Daddy in:  Mom bleached everything.)

 

A thought for the kitchen:  To avoid cutting yourself, have someone else hold the vegetables. It is simply AAHH-mazing how effectively this has worked for me. Although I have had to take a few minutes out of my busy schedule to make a run to the ER for other members of the household... :)

 

(Rach in:  And this with an already accident prone wife…)

(Mr. Daddy:  You’re welcome Dear)

 

 

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And Dear, there is a logical and perfectly sound explanation to the picture that you tried to shame me with on your last post. If you put the roaster pot in that way you get a moister cut of meat from one end and a drier cut from the other, thus saving time and effort for your distinguished guests... (who for some reason have started insisting on using the kitchen sink to wash up in???)

 

(Rach in:  Oh Lordy… I’m actually more bothered by the fact that you cut your meat with your pocketknife…)

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(Mr. Daddy in:  Whaaat?  It’s a TOOL, dear.)

 

 

For the medicine cabinet, If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough. Now before you all go getting in an uproar, I know it sounds like crappy advice, butt if you will put yourself out there to try it, I am quite certain you will agree to the effectiveness of said method.

P.S. please don't choose to visit our corner of paradise while undergoing this treatment!! just saying....

 

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Also For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins.  It is important to remember to use a timer if you decide to try this method of treatment.


If you have trouble springing from your bed, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and your snooze button is your nemesis... just put a mousetrap on the top of your alarm clock...You will be AAAHHhhhmazed at how quickly you will spring from your bed ready to talk to God and start your day....

 

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Thanks for letting me share a few of my little insights, and consider the words of ~Piet Hein~
"The road to wisdom? Well, it's plain and simple: Err and err and err again. But less and less and less."

 

And also the sage wisdom of Red, Green: "If the women don't find you handsome, let them at least find you handy."

You all take care out there.

 

 

 

(Rach in:  And no peein’ in the sink)

(Mr. Daddy:  In the name of marital bliss… I’ll pee anywhere I need)

30 comments:

Rachel said...

For the record: there is a NO PEEING IN THE SINK rule in my house now. Add it to the list of things I never thought I'd say...

Brandi said...

Dang, Rach, I was all like 'ooh, FIRST.' You stole my thunder.

Brandi said...

So, I will just leave several comments... because I can.

I think I need a royalty fee every time y'all (or anyone, for that matter) uses 'LMEO.' Just sayin.

Brandi said...

*SNORT* Pocket knife???!!!!!!!!

Rachel said...

LMEO!

Now, pay the woman Mr. Daddy... you totally caused that ;)

Brandi said...

OK, what I typed here just sounded too weird, so I deleted it. Never mind.

Brandi said...

Oh, HI Rach!

Brandi said...

I'm still here... I'm thinking I need some of Rach's mind bleach for the peeing in the sink. So much could be said here, but I'm not gonna touch it.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Perhaps a compromise-
Take the dishes out of the sink before peeing. At least the clean ones...

Bill

Mr. Daddy said...

@ Brandi, does Scott argue with you about the position of the toilet seat any more????

Kinda makes you HHHmMMMMmm doesn't it........ *snort*

Brandi said...

Mr. D. Toolbox? We need to add scissors to that. You need your own scissors. Although, if I'm eating at your house and you're going to be cutting bacon, I might rather have you use Rach's fabric shears than scissors from your toolbox. OK. Never mind. (Again).

Mr. Daddy said...

And Beel, I know we are thought of as white trailer trash by some....

Butt we are a little more upscale. we do have a sink in the out house, and a sink in the outdoor cooking area....ROFL

Brandi said...

Mr. D., we don't share bathrooms. The secret behind being married 20+ years? That's it right there. You're welcome.

Mr. Daddy said...

Brandi, I have my very own set in my fishing back pack for cutting egg scains, they are a little stained with borax and pro-cure. but hey just adds flavor and character to the caviar... right!!!!

Brandi said...

OK, and FINALLY, the laxatives? Have y'all been drinking tonight? I totally laughed at that one!! I don't need to go that route though... I've had 4 kids. If I cough I'll wet my pants.

Wait. a. minute. Have I been drinking tonight? Hmmmm. *SNORT*

Tiffany Bleger said...

First of all, I see nothing wrong with cutting my steak with my pocket knife. Usually my pocket knife is sharper than my steak knives anyways.

Second of all, I now understand why there is always a spot of dead grass in my mother's yard. Marital bliss.

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Oh Mr Daddy you are wise beyond your years....errr...welll....you are wise beyond Rachel's years anyway....

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Well, I think I'm safe because hubs and I are still arguing about the toilet seat! :)

GunDiva said...

What would we do without your little nuggets of wisdom, Mr D?

Kameron said...

I had Nate pee in the tub once because his sister was on the only toilet. You'd think, by the way my husband reacted, that he peed all over the floor or something. ;)

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Omg this was vintage mr daddy
Soooo funny

momto8 said...

this is so funny!! and really, so true! we just get so smart as we age,,but my kids use duct tape for every single solution to every possible problem..I am glad they sell it at the dollar store!

angel shrout said...

Mr.D better idea just hold all your pee till shower time.. let it loose in there.. just sayin' Sorry Rach I know I am no help. The pic of Itty Bit in the bathroom cracks me UP.. Poor little guy. Although with a house full of men that is the face I have when I enter a bathroom after them, followed quickly by the phrase," I did not feed you ANYTHING that smelled remotely like that".

Anonymous said...

AHHHH quite the sage again, Mr. Daddy - so just how exactly did you (the "I can relieve myself anywhere & nothing gross bothers me", King)spawn the kid who can't stand the smell of his own doodie?!

Danielle said...

I am also laughing my elbutt off. HI-LA-RI-OUS!!!
I caught my sister peeing in the sink once. She was like 10 or something. My mom freaked and made her scrub it for an hour! :P
It was the kitchen sink....
I'd blog about it, but she'd kill me. She's 22 now...she hates when I bring it up...
So I can post it HERE!! :P
You guys make me laugh!

Foursons said...

How can I possibly follow up on Brandi's plethora of comments? I'll just say ditto to all she said 'cause that way I'll sound witty and funny too.

Emmy said...

Lol! Okay my kids kept asking me why I was laughing as I read this post. This is hilarious!! And next time I get a cough- well first I am not going to follow your advice-- but I think I will laugh the entire time-- which will probably make me cough more. Dang it!

robyn said...

I should have finished reading your post before I stopped to immediately try your blood pressure treatment. The timer was a good idea; it would've come in handy. Luckily I'm not the one with high blood pressure around here.

Stacy said...

And here I thought it was normal for people to cut their meat with their pocket knife??? No?? Ah well, I lost my last pocket knife when I forgot to take it out of my purse before getting on a plane. Such is life!

Ah, the words of wisdom of Mr. Daddy. I'm not sure they will gain the presence of those of Gandhi, but at least they are interesting! LOL!

julie ball said...

Praise the Lord, the doctors didn't remove your funny bone, Mr. D! I bet you took a sharpie to your elbutt and wrote "Don't cut here," didn't ya?

But seriously... I hope your "wisdom" is a sign that you're feeling well. Either that, or you're on lots of drugs. :)