Sunday, March 11, 2012

in reverse: from HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM





See… it was freaky enough to force my OCD self to leave a typo.


We were crazy enough to try to keep our vacation a big fat secret until we got home (somehow “house protected by attack horse” doesn’t have the same ring as ATTACK DOG ON PREMISES)


And our adventure in Houston was that big fat exclamation point on

travel book


A thunderstorm closed the airport, yet our plane circled until that dire announcement.



After Itty Bit’s subtle echo to the rest of the passengers, he (like any other responsible kindergartener) picked up the flight instructions,



and without any prompting, tucked into the crash landing position.




He completely did not understand why I was goofing off with the ninja pictures instead of preparing for an emergency.  Parent Fail.


After diverting to a bumpy landing in Corpus Christi, we were stranded on the tarmac because the airport didn’t have Customs agents.


Did I mention that I’d gone to bed at 1:45 that morning and awoken early to leave paradise?

Sans coffee?

And that our only meal by 5pm that day had been a flight snack?

Sans coffee?

And we were leaving 90 degree weather to return to SNOW?

Sans coffee?

And a kid who kept loudly asking what air sickness bags were for?


When we finally started our third takeoff of the day, I did a little happy dance to see Houston an hour later.





We sat on the tarmac again midst a lightning storm and watched the clock tick past our connecting flight.


Since so many fights had been delayed, the lovely security checkpoint area was packed with agitated travelers.  Once passing inspection (the menfolk were selected for the nekkid xray adventure), we spent the next three and a half hours in purgatory.


Purgatorty:  [pur-guh-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee] noun, plural -ries, adjective noun

To be stranded at consecutive airports with a caffeine withdrawal headache.  To endure multiple security searches at three separate airports.  To have your good tweezers confiscated.  To consume a single snack in 36 hours.  To miss your connecting flight.  To run across the entire airport to FIVE SEPARATE GATES and wait for an eternity in line at each.  To juggle a heavy rolling suitcase, a camera bag, a purse, and a kid survival bag – all whilst carrying a tired 48-pound kindergartener across miles of escalators, elevators, subways through crowds of upset passengers.


Ultimate purgatory:  [uhl-tih-mut pur-guh-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee] noun

to lose your iPhone for approximately 12 hours at the start of this madness.




There’s more… so much more.  Including why seeing this man forget about sad things for awhile made crazy Houston worth it.




Now if you’ll excuse me… there are 926 unread blog posts in my reader.  Off to catch up with you!


robin said...

If you ever come to Texas again, lemme know! I'm close to Houston and have relatives near Corpus (where we go to the bay often.) I would have totally driven to meet you guys for a smoothie or something! Mr. Daddy seems ...content. Glad you guys had a great vacation (minus the airplane excitement!)

Allenspark Lodge said...

Some times the fun is barely worth the work.

"But other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

At least it was memorable...


Leiah said...

You know had you not been on a double secret vacation, Aunt Crazy & I would totally have met up with y'all. She's in Houston and I'm only 2 1/2 hours away. I go to Houston all the time. Just throwing that out there in the event you decide to give Texas another chance. Glad you're caffeinated once more.

Beth Zimmerman said...

I did some purgatory time in Seattle & Houston right after 911! Haven't flown since!

Did you vacation in Mexico?

Mrs. Mom said...

Wow. And Dear Husband wonders why I tell him he will have to DRUG me to get me to

SO HAPPY you got away. SO HAPPY you had a breather. SO UNDERSTAND wanting to bazooka TSA!!

(*snork* bet THAT lands me on yet another watch list somewhere....)

Welcome home. Enjoy the snow. SQUEEEEEEZE Itty Bit from me- that kid ROCKS!!

Buttercup said...

My heart is with you! Just flew home from Phoenix to New York today and we had a good flight, but air travel today has so many issues.

Unknown said...

I'm unable to catch a breath as laugh and imagine the screams of fuel levels to the fellow passengers; followed by the calm review of the step by step instructions. Purely priceless.

Nice to hear the vacation was relaxing, yall really need that and A SECRET! I'm impressed...I can't get my mouth to stay shut on social media about what I'm having for lunch. To even think an entire vacation!!!! However, my lunch prob included some cool thing I found on Pinterest that I just have to tell everyone about as soon as humanly possible. ;)

Oh, welcome back to the was trying to snow outside our house again a few mins ago.

Discovery School at First Baptist Heath said...

I so totally would have brought you coffee... that is insane... next time your in Texas let me know.. cause I do not know anyone to rob you in your area.. so I could have kept a secreet!!!!

So glad ya got away for a while

Foursons said...

Apparently I need to go through your blog roll because it seems 90% of your readers are from TX. And every single one of us offered to come and hang out in an airport with you. How's that for southern hospitality?

The pictures of Itty Bit crack me up. It is hilarious that he found the In Case of Emergency pamphlet and proceeded to assume the crash position. You need to put him in scouts, he obviously likes to be prepared.

I'm glad y'all got to get away and have some stress-free fun. I look forward to hearing about everything you did and how you escaped all the crazy loons lurking about in that country.

Saimi said...

Normally I'm good with flying but lightening storms.... just might be the exception!

Anonymous said...

Yeah. I nearly had a heart attack all the way over here in Georgia when I read your FB comment about the low on fuel thing. I'm really glad you guys got to "get away from it all". I just wish that "it all" didn't attack you as soon as you returned to the States! You are just a blog fodder magnet; what can I say? (and I AM glad they didn't confiscate your phone... really!)

Kmama said...

I hope we'll get to hear about all the good stuff on the trip!

Sorry the trip home was so rough!

Bethany said...

Itty Bit is too funny! It's good to know you are an equal opportunist when it comes to your photo ninja skills.

Can't wait to hear about the rest of your trip.

Shana Putnam said...

LOL, only you guys can make a vacation as much of an adventure as it was. I am so happy you had a vacation though to recharge and not think.

Unknown said...

See here you had me all worried and I was stalking your blog and FB page thinking something had happened.. woman I oughta hug ya .. LMBO @ Ittybit.. too funny. Tell him don't worry my first flight I was 15 and got seated next to a ahem rather large woman who was apparently, like me a first time flier. When we hit turbulence this woman flipped OUT I mean LOST IT COMPLETELY and went to screaming hysterically. It was a wine and cheese flight. I was 15 , scared witless by the woman next to me whom they began plying with the booze for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. Did I mention I still have the little travel bottles of booze I got on that flight.. I am glad ya'll got away. Not so glad your return was so troublesome.

Buckeroomama said...

Sure looks like a fun outing! We hbe a similar place here and my kids love going there and I love it, too. Always makes for a fun family outing. :)

Anonymous said...

You got away from it all. Good for you.Was it just the three of you? Where exactly were you? Was it HOTTTT? The travel couldn't have been THAT BAD, was it?

Susan said...

Well, yeah....okay.....I was one of the worried ones too, thinking something tragic had happened and that was why you weren't blogging. So, I confess to being glad that it was something that, while not completely under your control, was at least more controlled than another health crisis. At least this chaotic return home could be turned into your usual funny story. And maybe my prayers that you were okay were still useful somehow. I'm wondering, though, why they took your tweezers away??! I flew Monday and again today with tweezers in my carry-on and no one blinked an eye. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that sans coffee....the horror!
But you did mention you'd been to paradise and Mr. Daddy was able to find distraction from sad things (I'm assuming you and Itty Bit felt the same happy distraction).
I think I just found the balance in your story.

Amy said...

hahaha! Girl you are a MESS!!!

Anonymous said...

Houston, storms, suitcase dragging races thru the airport, customs, customs, & more customs, confiscated tweezers & nailfile, sunburns & carrying an adorable sleepy boy - STILL IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!(when can we go again?)

Candance said...

I think you're son may be related to me because when there is trouble on the plane (or really if I am on a plane for any reason), I have a similar reaction to the little precious and I, too, read those inflight emergency thingys like they are the gospel.

Smart kid.

Candance said...

Your son. Your son. Not you're son. Mother of God.

Kameron said...

I hate traveling! Things should just go smoothly, but they never do!! Oh and I got a sunburn like that in Mexico too. The sun is just damn hotter down there!

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