Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Suffer with me


If it seems like I’m a wee bit behind in posting, it’s because I have an unnatural fear of blogging without pictures.

And since my camera and nice lens complained slightly when I *ahem* DROPPED THEM, my pictures are pretty darn woeful.


I’m only slightly bitter.  Seeing as all my friends have turned pro and I’ve been left to cry into my broken shutter.

(Anyone want to sell my husband a gently used Canon 5D Mark III?  I mean, you’d be helping a nice guy get major birthday cred.  And restoring his wife to sane.  Mostly.)


So suffer with me for a bit, just to catch up on some crazy?




Remember the dude who knocked me down ?





Well, I didn’t come back on here and tell y’all because I was too embarrassed, but the dork added insult to injury by spectacularly blowing up and bolting as I stood on the other side of the fence by a muddy patch.





My poor kid stared at me in astonishment as I tried to navigate to a sink through my poop-covered glasses.


Friends, it was much worse than last time



There was no hat to protect top of my head, which sustained several direct hits of stinky goo.  I won’t tell you how much got into my mouth (I was screaming after all), but after my husband attempted to snap photos, I made sure to kiss him goodnight ;)




But really, the almost-makes-it-worthwhile moment came when I scored my very own illustration by the esteemed Beel!




The resemblance is uncanny.  Joey is even smiling.

Though he may have offered the artwork as a truce after getting busted trying to talk Mr. Daddy into sharing the cellphone evidence.




We had a freaky heat streak and took advantage of it to hit up the Spring Fair.  You know how fairgrounds are ripe for people watching?  I guess it kind of defeats the purpose when people are looking at YOU.


I realized too late why Itty Bit was attracting attention…









Afterward, Itty Bit would say his favorite part was “when the man in the logging show talked like a baby”.  I did happen to recall that moment when Red squeaked, “I’m going home now” after this little gem:

See what I mean?




We returned home to the insanity that is t-ball season.  Oh, and Spring got all un-confused and dumped buckets on us.


Umm… he swung from left to right… the ball totally jumped over the bat.




And because I love y’all, and we could probably use a good laugh…

I will post this with the preface that this is as close to PG-13 as I get, but DEAR LORD, I could not.stop.laughing.


Is there somebody who checks the spacing before the news titles get published to mobile websites?


Lord, I apologize.






He talked about growing up HUNGRY!





And bless the starving pygmies in New Guinea.


Unknown said...


Oh dear.

And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that original piece of artwork you posted. ;)

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Well they at least know how to get people to read an article right? Wow!!

Nancy said...

I dropped my first good point and shoot camera a couple of years ago and it near killed me! Suffice it to say, I'm much more careful these days!

Kmama said...

You dropped your camera?? OH NO!

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at the poop on your face. I probably would have been gagging and puking.

stephanie said...

the whole post was good but I'm stuck on "growing up hung" seriously ROLLING!

Allenspark Lodge said...

I can sympathize with William L., I grew up smart-



Foursons said...

The other day I had to slam on my brakes and my camera flew off the front seat of my van and onto the floorboard. I'm still not positive it escaped unscathed. I need to use it at a few more ball games to be sure.

The poopy face? Oh.my.word. I could not have handled that.

Itty Bit looks awfully tall and lean in that shot where he was performing the magic trick with the ball on the tee.

Unknown said...

I think your doing just great with your old camera...but I can understand how ya feel!

you never cease to carack me up girl!

Take care!

Unknown said...

I think the horse has got it in for ya hun. Can't say as I blame the logger for finding his falsetto voice. I don't have the same thing he does and that hurt me, I saw that headline the other day and thought welllll that's one way to make your article go viral instantly..

Beth Zimmerman said...

Oh Rachel! We love you! Is your camera permanently destroyed?

Kameron said...

If you are a wee behind in posting tehn i am a wot behind! ;) I managed an anemic post yesterday though.

Poop. UGH! That is just downright yuck!

Angie Vik said...

You are one funny lady. Thanks for a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

I was sure that shot from behind if Itty-bit was going to be an "ubbie" shot!

Anonymous said...

Sorry - it's late... I meant "of" Itty-bit :)

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

I'm so sorry about your camera. I would be in tears! I kept my D40 just in case something happens to my beloved D90!
The poo incident made me gag! I have to say, I've never had that happen!
The Hung headline? Hilarious!
I can completely relate to the baseball season insanity. Enjoy!

danette said...

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear about your camera :(. And sorry about the, um, poop incident (ewww!). Cracking up over that headline, lol :).

Floortime Lite Mama said...

OMG you slay me
Funny charming lovely you
Hope things are going better with the two things
the one you talk about ( the magnificent Magnum PI ) and the one you dont

Anonymous said...

So am I the only one who knows it's almost your BIRTHDAY?!!!!!!

Emmy said...

Lol! Oh that is a bad bad typo- or spacing issue.
And oh what a bad bad horse!

And so sorry about your camera- if anyone has an extra Mark iii I will take one too!

Discovery School at First Baptist Heath said...

i thought you wanted a GOOD camera????

as soon as my nikon D4 (Only two months left to wait) gets here I have a 300s and a 700 that might be available??????

Anonymous said...

Rachel...get a new camera...that's all I have to say...(We are all going through photo withdrawl & Itty Bit does something AMAZING everyday!!!)

myletterstoemily said...

you are a riot! i love when news casts
make silly mistakes like that.

NaomiG said...

Haha! I love the headline.

I live in great fear and trembling of my camera getting broken. The thought of it haunts me. I have taken some pretty magnificent spills down hillsides and whatnot while maintaining a righteous statue of liberty style hold on my camera the whole time though. Makes my husband laugh every time.

Horse poop=EUW. I think I would make it a point to stay away from that guy.

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