Sunday, August 12, 2012

Etsy confessions

 

 

I need to write this.

I know I’m breaking a cardinal blogging rule by posting on the weekend, but I need to get this out onto the screen for my own sanity.

 

You see, I’ve been favoriting and pinning certain Etsy items for a while… building a collection for a blog post.  Except that these were kind of interesting and unusual items that left me wondering what someone would do with one of them in their home.

Not a problem, except that Etsy creates a profile of suggested items based on what you’ve Favorited.  Which means that someone at Etsy headquarters is probably very confused by my apparent eccentricity.

 

Now, please, please do not take offense.  There are some amazingly creative people and everyone likes different things.  I have the crafting skills of 14-month old who eats Elmers glue sticks, so my take is definitely subjective.

 

Here are some things that made me go, “huh?”

(please click on images for links)

 

First up… this one confused me because it said,

“knit hat with bread”

 

Bread?

 

knit hat with bread

 

Ahh, BEARD.  Knit hat with BEARD.

 

Now this actually probably looks pretty cute on a kid, but mine would have been panicking like a dog in a cone.

And let’s all admit that dolls for models are creepy.  Every time.

 

~

 

This one is totally not about the product… I ADORE this girl’s face! 

scrunch

 

This almost makes up for all the skeevy doll models.

 

~

 

Are these not the cutest?!?!  These are little egg warmer hats!

eggs

They crack me up!

 

~

 

So, how’s this for random?

 

nintendo

 

So many punch lines.

Must resist typing them.

 

~

 

Now this little girl seems perfectly adorable.

tree hat

 

And slightly disturbed by the oversized holiday display on her head.

I just want to scoop her up and hug her.

 

And I kinda want that hat for myself.

 

~

 

And this one I am totally confused by.

bacon

 

Awesome picture of bacon, right?

Y’all remember my bacon problem, right?

 

This is not what you think.  It is a listing for (I kid you not) 1 oz of

bacon fragrance oil.

 

I found it while looking for scented dryer balls.

I suppose there are worse things than being licked to death…

 

IMG_8749-1

 

And in proof that people don’t read the captions on Pinterest… two people repinned this under “Indulge” and “Yummy”.  Good luck with that.

 

~

 

How’s this?  A polaroid of two strangers looking at a polaroid.

polaroid

 

I am completely baffled by the fact that this sold on February 6, 2012.  Hopefully to someone who knew those lovely ladies, or to a salon looking to replicate those awesomesauce hairstyles.

 

~

 

This one – the girl is totally stealing the limelight from the product.  She kinda makes my ovaries hurt.

splits

 

And she really makes my hamstrings hurt.

 

Is she seriously doing the splits?  At 7 months old?  Ladies and gentlemen, Baby Pom Pom Scarf for the 2028 Olympic gymnastics gold!

 

~

 

While I see my fair share of elk antlers around here, I apparently having been missing out on styling myself with them:

antler

 

(No, Mr. Daddy.  Just NO.)

 

~

 

Priceless.

 

got your back

 

~

 

So I like hoop art.  Glad to have friends that get my humor… big props to Julie for laughing when I sent her this after her surgery:

 

guts

 

And yeah… I didn’t have the guts to post the uterus one…

 

~

 

Along those awkward lines… here’s more hoop art.

 

bear

 

No words.

 

(helpless snorting laughter, but no words)

 

~

 

 

And this my friends?  Is bravery…

umm

 

I can get down with the pink mohawk.  I can survive the nose piercing.

 

But I cannot figure out the sudden sense of modesty as he stands outside being photographed in a lovely floral infinity scarf?

I cannot help but think this guy must have a hilarious sense of humor.

 

~

 

And I guess when you have a lot of money, you might get bored with the usual types of items to buy.  For your $3200 (plus $300 shipping) pleasure:

 

a life-size felted clock.

 

felted clock

 

As in made out of wool.

 

As in six feet, four inches tall.

 

WOW.

 

Sooooo two-thousand eleven.

 

~

 

 

And while this one is not technically an Etsy item, I could not help laughing my squirrel off.

cat hair

 

 

~

 

Again, no offense meant at all… and I would be tickled if one of you found something here that is perfect for you!

 

What Etsy fun have you seen lately?

 

(I promise, we have some real Etsy fun coming up soon… as in g.i.v.e.a.w.a.y!  As in super-cool and not made with cat hair!)

26 comments:

Angel Shrout said...

BWHAHAHAH *snort coff. Wow just wow.. I think I am going to have to take a trip through Etsy. The bearded hat though did crack me up. The little baby in the splits, she can do that because at this point she has yet to develop KNEECAPS that scream WTH we are not made to go that way for any reason. The elk antlers umm yeah I got nothing. Just nothing. Still just slightly disturbed that someone would go 'HEY Ed whaddaya gonna do with dem dere antlers. I bet I kin make me sum money by sellin them thangs as hair clips." Just NO..

Allenspark Lodge said...

All wonderful, but I think I'd have to go with the "I got our back" hoop art.

Or maybe the bizarre brassiere.

Bill

GunDiva said...

What? No Crazy Texas Mommy boob beer coozies? Apparently, those things sell - who knew?

Pam Bowers said...

The things people pin. So funny. That felt clock!!! *giggle*

Tamar SB said...

Some people will make anything and even sadder, some people will buy anything! But those egg hats are kinda funny, weird, but funny...

Amy said...

CAN'T.STOP.LAUGHING>



You need that clock. I mean, who DOESN'T need it!!! LOL

Kmama said...

Oh my gosh. I can just imagine what the Etsy people are suggesting for you.

That last one...crafting with cat hair? What? Why? Huh?

Pam D said...

Ewww. Cat hair.. really? I mean, let's face it. That hair has a lifetime of cat spit ALL OVER IT. Yuck. I do think you would totally rock the Christmas tree hat. And the elk hair clip (you are SO welcome, Mr. D!). Not sure on the crazy Polaroid of a Polaroid of a Polaroid... just why? It sold? Seriously? I could be a millionaire over here and didn't. even. realize. Off to rummage through my photo bins and make some $$$....

robin said...

LMAO!!! Thanks for the morning laugh!!! Still laughing about the "I got your back" one!!! :)

Bethany said...

Oh my heavens! There is so much wrong with that. And a heck of a lot funny, too. Love ya, girl!

Anonymous said...

I thinks G-ma needs one of those Christmas tree hats!

Marley's Mama said...

Oh. My. Gosh. Love the got your back one! Thanks for the giggles!

melissa said...

i love you girl!

seriously!!!

a uterus hoop!

wow.

Discovery School at First Baptist Heath said...

I totally have that "got your back" in a t shirt... ROFL....

Anonymous said...

Think Mr. Daddy needs the pink mohawk & we need to visit the lasange (Italian spelling) merry-go-round again!

stephanie said...

bahahah I NEEDED a laugh! the guy covering his nips made me snort.

Anonymous said...

Egg-warmer hats might look good on Daddy's golf balls - although they are YOUR color :) luv u

SHANA said...

Love it. This post just cracked me up!!

Julie said...

oh my gosh! I have almost no words. Thanks for making me laugh this morning. :D

Danielle said...

I'm behind in my reading, but I am glad I saved this one for today. I needed a laugh! Thanks! ;)
I wanna make stuff outta cat hair!!!!

:P

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

This was fantastic!!! How do you find this stuff?!?

Alisha said...

Oh. My. Word. (!!!) hahaha

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