her birthday

 

(Would you guys please go check the giveaway?  There’s only 12 entries and I think it’s because people may have been having trouble with Rafflecopter?  It’s the first time I’ve used it… and I would rather re-start the giveaway if it’s not working?  No account or Facebook login needed – just an email address so I can contact the winner.  Anyone want to test it for me here?)

 

~

 

So it’s been almost a year.

 

 

So hard to believe.

 

I think it feels so unkind sometimes.  The way life keeps moving on.

 

It’s not as if time makes it hurt much less.  I think it turns wounds into scars that ache instead of bleed.

 

In many ways, her death was peaceful.  In pain here, to stepping one breath away into her reward.

 

Her daughter is here now.  Filling Mom’s kitchen with jars and jars of canned peaches.  Her granddaughter helps her.  Her great-granddaughter has grown two inches and just made the varsity volleyball team.

 

 

See what I mean about life moving on?  The hole gapes.  Mom’s laughter is missing from the four generations as they slice the peaches and stand over the hot stove that she prepared decades of meals from.

I grieve for Itty Bit.  For what he’s missing.

There’s nothing like a grandma who makes you feel loved.

Nothing.

 

Marrying into the family didn’t make me feel any less loved.  She was just one of those people.  Go grab an extra plate and bring it to the table.

 

A year brings a long time of

Mom would have loved this.

Remember when?

How did Mom do it?

 

The house is different.

Absolutely everything could have been exactly the same.  Yet, the person who made it a home – it feels as if she’s stepped out and we are somehow still waiting for her to come back.

 

Her kitchen window overlooks our yard.  I still catch myself starting to wave as I leave in the mornings.

 

There’s so much to be said for living well.  For investing in others.  For hard work and a happy spirit.  For being willing to let God use you in a million big and little ways.

 

There are just so many reminders of the loss.

 

In some ways… it feels as if we are all riding alone now.

 

 

 

 

 

So happy birthday Mom.  We miss you.  We love you.