Sunday, October 07, 2012

now that my husband has an excuse


strike that…

now that my husband has a convenient excuse not to blog…


So the dude messed up his bicep.  Like big time.

Like Tylenol-is-a-food-group kind of big time.


And while his right jab is disabled, I’ll show you what that bicep looks like when it’s not making him say all kinds of funny words…




Being a gen-you-wine redneck means that you pretend the Tylenol is working until either the weekend or after-hours.  In which case you check in to Urgent Care on Saturday morning and get yourself a pretty new sling and a specialist appointment.


Now explain to me again how he can get out of blogging, but still manages to tease me on Facebook?






He jumped into the fray.  Much indebted to Brandi:



Though I must say… I really do prefer watching my own Mr. Rockin Hottie Magnum Daddy wash my car :)



For the record: I did not run out of gas.  I have never run out of gas.  I’ve done a lot of blogworthy things, but my record for remaining sufficiently fueled at all times is still standing.


But lemme tell ya - when you live in the country, work in the city, and the kiddo goes to school in yet another city… the gas prices make you want to twitch.  End rant.




So this leaves you, poor readers, with the crumbs of my randomness yet again.  I have some nice posts all written out.  In my head.  And yet one look at my phone tells me 14 things I forgot to blog about.


As in… when this fair ride suddenly stopped directly over our heads.



Those things never stop.  And some girls were stuck in there for a very long time.  As you can see below, I was much happier once their ride started moving again, and so did ours.



That just ain’t right.  I look like I don’t have any teeth.  Like, remember the time Shana’s mom asked her to go look for her teeth in Shana’s driveway?


“I’m sorry son, I fink I lef mah teef on da last ride”


And I have at least three chins.


And weirdly enough, the guy behind us is also wearing blue plaid.  We’re the State Fair mini gang.  Representin’, yo.




And I’m really struggling with how to write this delicately.



See Itty Bit’s slackjawed expression?  I mean, I’ve never seen the kid interrupt his consumption of pizza for anything.

People watching.


I’m all for individuality.  But sometimes it needs to be tempered with the reality that some things are just not appropriate for public.

I can handle the three-foot high neon mohawk, the leather ensemble with spikes and 14” Go Go boots, the facial piercings connected by chains, and even sometimes boys with eyeliner.


But the girl who stood there in her underwear (there is no other word to describe the garment that exposed her cheekiness), with words inked onto her *ahem* bottom



You remember my little super reader right?  Do you have any idea how fast one must respond to keep a mesmerized first-grader from sounding out an entire poem that had been tattooed on someone’s posterior?


The answer would be , No, no you do not.  Because that would be faster than supersonic and faster than Thor.




And in other Itty Bit news… his 6-year campaign to make me stop at every single public restroom in a tri-state area finally backfired.




In a unisex bathroom, he looked at me with a grimace on his face and said, “it smells bad in here mommy”.  Then proceeded to hold his breath as long as he could.  I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard.  And of course this is another fine specimen to add to my “Rachel’s photos of bathrooms”.


I’m hoping this lesson stinks sticks.




This is one bathroom picture I don’t mind… the kiddo snuck out of bed early one morning and I caught him pretty much being the greatest kid in the history of ever.





Yeah.  He pretty much totally didn’t get in trouble for climbing on the counter.  Or for the 152 Lego pieces he generously scattered outside the bedroom door.




And because I love you, I really do… here’s my favorite snort this week:







Are you having a blogworthy week yet?


RaD said...

My blogging has been so on again off again it's crazy. But life matters more, I suppose. :)

I did want to point out though, that now that you have stated, in writing no less, that you have never ran out of gas, that you are now destined to run out of gas sometime in the future. It's just how it always works out. ;0)

Allenspark Lodge said...

Hey! I have a unicorn joke!

What did the male unicorn say to the female unicorn when the boarded the arc?

"This cruse is going to be FABULOUS!"

(You really should turn on comment moderation...)


Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

So Itty Bit is one of the sweetest 6 year olds ever!! So cute!! (and I LOVE his pjs)!!

Tamar SB said...

I love your random updates - and your kid seriously the best! Are you on instagram?

Kmama said...

What's the verdict on Mr. daddy's arm? My FIL did something funny to his bicep muscle where it basically "falls" down his arm. It's gross looking.

Itty Bit is just too cute. Love him in his jammies!

Discovery School at First Baptist Heath said...

praying that arm healed... and thanks for the laughs this morning

Anonymous said...

So you know you are not to receive that "running out of gas thing", in Jesus' Name, right? Give me oil in my lamp & keep me burning burning burning...Give me gas in my Ford & keep me truckin' for the Lord...

Bethany said...

Oh, my heavens. I about snorted "representin', yo." My kids might have committed me though.

Sorry about Mr. D.'s arm. Doug had a partial tear in his bicep about a year ago. His healed on its own. Praying for a quick healing for your man.

GunDiva said...

Mom hasn't commented yet, but I'm sure she'll tell Mr Daddy that it's okay, he can carry firewood with his one good arm. Of course, that's the Bionic Cowgirl, who was making beds and cleaning the lodge within just a couple of days of having her entire elbow reconstructed. :)

I tell you - that man's going to have stuff to blog about in just a couple of weeks.

PS - you might want to stock up on some Depends, because I'm fairly certian that between Mr D and Bill, we'll be peeing ourselves regularly. :)

Foursons said...

OK, that last won't believe this but my HS mascot was a UNICORN! Yup. There is a woman in town who makes shirts with that saying on it.

Anonymous said...

Always love reading your blogs. ;) miss ya and hope we can get together soon???

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

Oh, your sweet mirror message writer melts my heart!!!

Unknown said...

Oh to be a unicorn!

love ya girl :)

Angie Vik said...

I love your random posts. Sort of like a variety show. You make such good use of your phone to capture random crazy moments. I forget them if they're not written down. The mirror message was very sweet.

robin said...

LMAO!!! I had to do a double-take of the pic of you and Itty Bit (thinking it looked a little different.) Then when I read that you thought it looked like you didn't have any teeth, I thought YES, THAT'S IT! LOL! Funny.

I absolutely LOVE the pic of Itty Bit writing that on the mirror. It's one of those moments that makes a parent's heart melt. He's so precious!

Stacy said...

Sorry to hear you are injured, Mr. Daddy! That sounds like something I would do with the whole Urgent Care thing. What can I say...I grew up on a farm and we don't need no doctoring! ;)

Oh, and the fair people watching is a hoot! They wear completely inappropriate things, but they are looking for attention at that point. They should get used to people staring and judging them when they go out of the door like that.

Anonymous said...

So I think Angel-boy writing "I love you" in the mirror fog should become a Mother's day Hallmark card - whatcha think?! It should say "There are some things you CAN'T get in trouble for on Mother's Day!"

Pam Bowers said...

I don't know how I missed this post. I seriously LOL'd!!! I love your random posts.

Mom Of Many said...

Itty Bit writing has got to be the sweetest picture ever. And I completely agree with the other commentator... it oughta be a Hallmark card.

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