Thursday, November 29, 2012

turns out I was only Mostly Dead



Any shameless excuse for Princess Bride




In what will forever be known as Flumageddon 2012, the entire family was felled by one nasty bug.


First, my dad had it.  Y’all remember my dad, right?  The Man Who Says His Face Shall Not Be On This Blog.

So Exhibit 1:


(Enjoy my creepy artistic skills and your 1-in-4 chance of guessing which one is my Dad.  He’s the one that will be chasing me with a golf club after seeing this picture.  But technically I didn’t violate the FACE rule, right Dad? Right?)


Exhibit 2:  So you already saw Monday:



Exhibit 3:  Thanksgiving



Exhibit 4:  Also Thanksgiving.  Mommio & Itty Bit down for the count.



Exhibit 5:  Not technically part of Flumageddon, but definitely added to the intensity of YUCK.  Following our really sedate Thanksgiving meal, I received a random photo message from an unknown long-distance number.

Seriously, has any stranger ever sent you one of these?


I was somewhat relieved to see the caption, “The King of Elbutts”, but still had no idea who had sent it.  Mystery solved when the photo was Facebooked to me from some out-of-state relatives who have a gnarly sense of humor and remembered the elbutt sagaI’m warning you not to click and biggify that image(as GunDiva would say)


Exhibit 6:  Black Friday


(at least I didn’t haul him out shopping anyway and let him helpfully throw up into his hands like he did last year in Macy’s)


Exhibit 7:  Heck no, I’m not showing you a picture of me.  Just imagine that Sunday I got run over by a Mack truck.  Or three.  And then they backed their bad selves up over me. 



Exhibit 8:  Kiddo sent home from school today.



Exhibit 9:  My sis’ entire family knocked flat:


(Sorry Ju, most recent pic I have of all of you includes my photobombing rockstar)


Exhibit 10:  Again, not technically part of Flumageddon, but a noteworthy mess:  Beautiful Dummy Boy otherwise known as Joey got out at 1am.  No pictures of the incident, because it included hollering by both man and beast.  Thankfully they both had the same goal in mind.  My girl is worth her fence-respecting weight in gold.



Exhibit 11:  Dad-in-law is now coming down with the yuck :(



Exhibit 12:  Aaaand Mr. Daddy just walked back in the door and is now sound asleep at 2pm.


I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the numbers, but Mr. Daddy has dropped 20 pounds in the past three weeks of being sick, he’s worked a total of one shift in 20 days, and I’ve worked one in 14.



Family Thanksgiving dinner was cancelled.

Black Friday shopping was cancelled.

Breathing through my nose was cancelled.


Exactly how long are you supposed to survive on Dayquil/Nyquil/Sudafed until you start seeing those fine print side effects?  twitch twitch


On Tuesday, I drug myself to the kitchen and made chicken soup.  Which made me cry.  Because Mom used to bring me chicken soup when I was sick.  And I asked her one day to teach me to make it.  And she got the funniest smile on her face, then leaned forward conspiratorially and stage whispered, “I get it in a bag… I just add vegetables to it”.


And as I stirred the soup mix out of the bag into the pot, I couldn’t stop the tears.  Part of me felt a bit angry still at being robbed of her so soon.  And another part was just so grateful.  She’d given me more than a secret recipe shortcut that day.  She gave me permission not to be SuperMom.  The woman who ironed her towels and put bleach in her car soap… was still comforting me with her chicken soup secret.


After I walked a bowl of the soup out to Mr. Daddy and told him how much I missed his mom, my phone buzzed.  My own mother – sick herself – painstakingly texted an entire prayer for our healing.  There is never a day that goes by that I don’t know that I’m covered in her prayers.  And because I can’t hear her, she types them out key by key.  I kind of hit the jackpot in every kind of parentage.




So I’m sitting here.  Sick.  and Grateful.


And still looking for the funny.




double eyebrows




Yep.  That does it for me.

Every time.



What’s your happiness today?




Pam D said...

I am crying the ugly cry now. Because of so MANY things. Dear God in Heaven, could you PLEASE cover this family? PLEASE. I am envisioning your angels, gathered round and covering them with their wings. Because they have had ENOUGH... sickness. ENOUGH... lies. ENOUGH... pain. ENOUGH... loss. Please, God.. I am BEGGING you. BEGGING you. Please give them an entire YEAR of blessings that will blow their socks off. Not because they deserve it. NONE of us here deserve anything. But because they love you, and I love you, and so many who love THEM love you.. and we are begging. Pleading. Please hear us. even when Rach can't. Please...

Unknown said...

And as if my breakdown over my mom and her giblet gravy on Thanksgiving asn't enough I come read this and cry with you. It's so hard some days isn't it.. Then I read the prayer above and all I can add is AMEN And AMEN

Pam Bowers said...

Girl, I hate that your going through so much. And yes, this post made me cry too. My prayers are that your entire family gets better soon! I'm glad you were only "almost dead". Good clip.

Unknown said...

So I'm not so good at words when it comes to these things. I tend to just get upset and want to shoot something. But know I am praying...while I'm setting up the targets.

Anonymous said...

Psalm 34:17-19

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;

p.s. I have pictures of Rachel that look just lke that!

stephanie said...

flumaggedon indeed! bless your heart, y'all just need a break! and your mom? I have no words. she sounds like an amazing woman. you are one blessed lady.

Susan said...

Trying to find something here to be thankful for......oh, yeah, here it is: You're getting the icky viral thing over before Christmas arrives. Is that helpful? Small, yes, but maybe all the prayers will help speed things along. It's time for a new start, and your family is certainly deserving of a new start. Extra prayers are being given up for Mr. Daddy to conquer his C and return to full health in the new year. You're a champ! Hang in there and keep looking for the funny stuff to balance the hard stuff! What the funny stuff doesn't cover will be helped by the compassion and care from friends and family.

Katie said...

Holy cow, what a rough spell!! You deserve Happy/healthy/shiny-mageddon after all of this!!!!

robin said... Sending lots and lots of prayers and positive thoughts! Hope all those sick germs pack up and go away...forever! *hug*

Floortime Lite Mama said...

love you darling
Sending you and Mr daddy and your entire family a load of get well soon vibes
cannot wait to see u

Allenspark Lodge said...

Using my super sleuth skills, I have ruled out 2 of the possible dad candidates. But now I know he is a spiffy dresser.

ALL of you, get well soon.


Amy said...

I have been lurking in the shadows these days but know I am PRAYING for you all! You are so much stronger than I am, you are doing amazingly with all of this!!!! It's going to get better....

Simply Me said...

I'm sorry everyone had been so sick. Praying for health for your whole family.

sara said...

oh my word, I feel like I should go get some hand sanitizer after reading this post!!!

so sorry you have all been down. prayers headed your way!!!

Unknown said...

Blessings to you little lady, may God cover you in blessings soon.

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

Oh my goodness. I hope you are all feeling better now!

Emmy said...

Oh girl that is way too many sick people. So sorry.

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