Thursday, June 06, 2013

exercising futility

 

 

So, remember when I had a burst of insanity and thought it might be nice to burn some calories and jog around our property?

That lasted all of three-and-a-half minutes before I decided it was an incredibly stupid way to die.

 

I mean… jogging is dangerous for lots of people!

 

IMG_4933

 

 

And remember the horses looking at me in obvious confusion?

IMG_0731

 

Because every equine knows that moving your feet for anything but jumping 14 feet sideways to avoid a puddle is just plain daft.

 

And running around in circles just for exercise is… daftER.

 

After I survived my self-longeing/lunging, I knew any horse friends could appreciate this guide.  Remember, you hold a rope in your hand and your perfect princess of a horse obeys every command as she trots beautifully around you and farts pink glitter.

 

IMG_4854

 

Let’s just say I’ve been waterskiing in a trail of pink glitter farts before.

 

(and that right there folks, wins the prize for “sentence I never thought I’d type”)

 

 

The only time you’ll see my Speedy Gonzales alter-ego is here:

IMG_3763

 

And this post is going nowhere fast.  Aren’t y’all glad it’s FRIDAY?

 

drag

 

A long groove.  Where I got dragged through pink glitter farts.

 

Sorry.

 

 

Bear with me, because it’s

giveaway

 

 

And it’s EDIBLE! 

Because I need to replace all those joggingalmostdying calories.

 

Come back Monday to help me blow this diet thing? :)

 

 

.

12 comments:

stephanie said...

good for you for getting out there and doing it! I used to say I'd only run if something was chasing me ;) I started jogging (more of a walk with fast arms) back in January of 2012 and now I run between 30-40 miles a week. It can be addicting, careful ;)

Tiffany Bleger said...

Bwahahahaha!!!!!! I love this!

Saimi said...

Jogging is not my friend, that's why where I work out, I have someone telling me what I need to do and that I'm doing a good job - I'd rather work for treats, but positive reinforcement does the trick too!

Danielle said...

Love it!!
I HATE to run....Even if someone was chasing me...I'd just give up, and be like..."well, I guess you want something from me more than I want to run...you win!" and yes...something is wrong with runners, always finding the dead bodies...very suspicious!

I've been drug through the sand too! ;) but never through glitter... :(
Maybe its cause I dont trust horses....

Allenspark Lodge said...

I have come back here a half dozen times today trying co come up with a comment.

Too random and too funny.

I loved this post.

Bill

Beth Zimmerman said...

Is it chocolate? Oh wait ... Candy Crush has destroyed chocolate for me! I see it (growing) in nightmares now instead of dreams of ecstasy!

The Lady Wolf said...

My hubby ran a marathon. I don't. I gave birth, that's much harder than jogging! So, that's fair. :-) Wonder if its chocolate.....(hugs!!!!!)

Michelle said...

Running is stupid. That is all.

Furry Bottoms said...

I had to laugh-- I hate running! I would choose to do anything else except run. I can walk, speed walk even if I have to... but to run? Nope. And especially not if there are pink glitter all over, although that may save $$ for eyeshadow. Ew.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Okay, now that's funny! I'm not having much luck running anymore. Something about a 2 lb baby pressing on my bladder just doesn't work well.

Stephanie said...

More than once on an early morning run I've thought, "Oh my god, this is how a Law and Order episode starts off." But no dead bodies yet so I keep getting out there. Have to do something to combat the wine and chocolate.

Melissa C said...

Pink glitter farts! I love it! That's a fact Jack :)