Thursday, June 06, 2013

exercising futility



So, remember when I had a burst of insanity and thought it might be nice to burn some calories and jog around our property?

That lasted all of three-and-a-half minutes before I decided it was an incredibly stupid way to die.


I mean… jogging is dangerous for lots of people!





And remember the horses looking at me in obvious confusion?



Because every equine knows that moving your feet for anything but jumping 14 feet sideways to avoid a puddle is just plain daft.


And running around in circles just for exercise is… daftER.


After I survived my self-longeing/lunging, I knew any horse friends could appreciate this guide.  Remember, you hold a rope in your hand and your perfect princess of a horse obeys every command as she trots beautifully around you and farts pink glitter.




Let’s just say I’ve been waterskiing in a trail of pink glitter farts before.


(and that right there folks, wins the prize for “sentence I never thought I’d type”)



The only time you’ll see my Speedy Gonzales alter-ego is here:



And this post is going nowhere fast.  Aren’t y’all glad it’s FRIDAY?




A long groove.  Where I got dragged through pink glitter farts.





Bear with me, because it’s




And it’s EDIBLE! 

Because I need to replace all those joggingalmostdying calories.


Come back Monday to help me blow this diet thing? :)





stephanie said...

good for you for getting out there and doing it! I used to say I'd only run if something was chasing me ;) I started jogging (more of a walk with fast arms) back in January of 2012 and now I run between 30-40 miles a week. It can be addicting, careful ;)

Tiffany Bleger said...

Bwahahahaha!!!!!! I love this!

Saimi said...

Jogging is not my friend, that's why where I work out, I have someone telling me what I need to do and that I'm doing a good job - I'd rather work for treats, but positive reinforcement does the trick too!

Danielle said...

Love it!!
I HATE to run....Even if someone was chasing me...I'd just give up, and be like..."well, I guess you want something from me more than I want to win!" and yes...something is wrong with runners, always finding the dead bodies...very suspicious!

I've been drug through the sand too! ;) but never through glitter... :(
Maybe its cause I dont trust horses....

Allenspark Lodge said...

I have come back here a half dozen times today trying co come up with a comment.

Too random and too funny.

I loved this post.


Beth Zimmerman said...

Is it chocolate? Oh wait ... Candy Crush has destroyed chocolate for me! I see it (growing) in nightmares now instead of dreams of ecstasy!

The Lady Wolf said...

My hubby ran a marathon. I don't. I gave birth, that's much harder than jogging! So, that's fair. :-) Wonder if its chocolate.....(hugs!!!!!)

Michelle said...

Running is stupid. That is all.

Furry Bottoms said...

I had to laugh-- I hate running! I would choose to do anything else except run. I can walk, speed walk even if I have to... but to run? Nope. And especially not if there are pink glitter all over, although that may save $$ for eyeshadow. Ew.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Okay, now that's funny! I'm not having much luck running anymore. Something about a 2 lb baby pressing on my bladder just doesn't work well.

Stephanie said...

More than once on an early morning run I've thought, "Oh my god, this is how a Law and Order episode starts off." But no dead bodies yet so I keep getting out there. Have to do something to combat the wine and chocolate.

Melissa C said...

Pink glitter farts! I love it! That's a fact Jack :)