Monday, July 29, 2013

riptide

 



Swimming against the current.  I’m still calling Google names over the whole Taking Reader Away From Millions of Faithful Users incident of 2013.

 

And trying to keep my head above water in knocking down unread blog posts to under 200 (YES!)

 

And apparently neglecting home base in the process.

 

butts

 

No worries… I’m clawing my way back.

Because blogging is what I love to do.

 

And butts.  Talking about butts.

 

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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

House Hunters FAIL

 

Bringing you the latest installment, brand spanking new…

 

Remember when our realtor was showing us a bathroom without realizing that a man was (ahem) pooping right behind her in plain view?

 

And then when I got locked in a bathroom in another vacant house?

 

The house hunting adventures continue with one brought to you straight from this evening.

 

Mr. Daddy and I took a detour on the way home – Mapquesting a For Sale property that had many acres, two rental homes, and a manufactured home that “needs TLC”.

 

The ad ended with,

“SHOWN BY APPOINTMENT ONLY.  NO DRIVEBYS”.

 

Which… in my oh-so-normal house hunting experience, means you can mosey past to look at it, but not get out and look around.

 

Well… we pulled down a driveway.  That had a gate – that was WIDE OPEN.  I mean, that’s practically an invitation, guys!

 

 

We could barely see the two rental homes past the 4’ high grass, assorted litter, numerous vehicles, and TENTS in the yard.

 

Wait… people are camping here?

 

That “needs TLC” manufactured home… needed a dozer.

 

I casually dropped something about “I see why they said no drivebys”…

And an already-skeeved out Mr. Daddy looked at me dumbstruck while quickly turning the car around.

He said through gritted teeth, “this place is a meth lab”.

 

And then…

 

there were no words.

 

In an overrun garden next to the driveway…

 

hippies

 

A guy and a gal.

Embracing.

Zero clothing from the waist up.

Oblivious to the car kicking up dust and rocks a few feet away.

 

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We made it home in record time.

 

I laughed the whole stinkin’ way.

 

“Seriously, what is WRONG with you Rach?!?!”

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Again… I laughed and laughed the whole stinkin’ way home.

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Monday, July 15, 2013

when Nutella is terrifying

 

 

So my kid ran in through the back door, tore through the kitchen, and generally made it clear he was trying his darndest to hide.

 

Since I’d caught a glimpse of his face as he streaked by, I was suddenly freaked out by the amount of blood that seemed to be covering his entire forehead.

 

And when I caught up to him, his face held a mixture of hubris and fear.

 

Because Holy Chocolate Hazelnut Crème Batman, he had smeared Nutella in copious amounts all over his face.

 

And this momma?  Was so relived that it wasn’t blood, that she immediately ordered him outside because the photo op lighting was better out there.

 

(The kid is convinced he’s an online celeb now… and has totally pegged any blogworthy antics).

 

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(This was AFTER some significant cleanup).

As to whether or not any or all of this was (ahem) licked off... I am not dignifying that with a response.

 

When I asked him why he did that, I loved his logic:

 

Because Bubba told me to.

 

 

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Honey… Bubba is FIVE.

 

And that 5-year old Bubba also just told me to get him a pocketknife for his birthday, too.

 

Adorable and convincing as he looks… the two of you are just trouble.

 

 Smile

 

 

~

 

And in mixed news… I am still royally grumpy over Google’s abandonment of the Google Reader users.  Totally makes me want to warn everyone off Google+ in case they decide later that they’re bored with it and want to laugh at us again.

 

What was most frustrating, was not being able to find a replacement reader that allows you to read the whole post in one spot.  I’m not always able to leave a comment until later, but this helps me manage a reading list that also includes some inspiration photos – without opening up new windows repeatedly.

 

(Feedly and Bloglovin allow you to basically open the post in a new window with a frame from their site.  But you only get a portion of the post on their main site otherwise).

 

 

So I found InoReader… which basically does what Google Reader did.  And is working pretty darn perfect.  (As in TOTALLY perfect, except now I have over 1000 unread posts and that number makes me spazzy).

 

But getting it all in one window again?  Makes me almost as happy as a Nutella covered gangsta.

 

 

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Have you figured out your Reader replacement?

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Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I Heart Faces Summer Fun

 

 

The I Heart Faces theme for July is Summer Fun!

 

Around here, you know it’s truly summer when cute little boys sit on your porch steps and dig into fresh sweet corn.

 

What I really really love about little cousin Bubba, is that awesomesauce pattern from his missing his two front teeth, hah!

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(And just keeping it real, but you can see exactly where his buttered corn landed on his shirt when he dropped it the first time.  Gosh I love this kid!)

 

Everyone looks like they are having a terrific summer - you can already tell that this month’s theme is full of amazing pictures, head on over to I Heart Faces for more summer fun!

Photo Challenge Submission 

 

 

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Sunday, July 07, 2013

Jehovah’s Witnesses and salesmen. Always ready to party

 

You recall that legendary story of when the two Jehovah’s Witness ladies stopped by when my husband had overslept… and he was expecting someone else when he answered the door?

 

In his tighty whities?

 

And gave them the shock of their lives when he gave up salvaging any measure of pride, threw his hands up and yelled, “you wanna party?”

Just let me remind you of what the dude’s idea of a typical “party” is:

 

Bob008

(The first time this picture was posted on this here blog, it spawned some crazy comments, including a case of mistaken identity which led to Mr. Daddy’s full moniker:  Mr. Rockin Hottie Magnum Daddy.  It’s worth the read to laugh with poor Lisa!)

 

Later, more of them stopped by when I was very sick, and a three-year old Itty Bit ran and answered the door before I could chase him down in my Dayquil stupor… and then they had the gall to yell at me for letting my toddler answer his own door?  Once they discovered I was deaf, they made sure to emphasize some literature with a happy Asian couple and a rainbow.  I was very confused. 

 

But apparently I have taught Boogadacious well about sounding the alarm when someone drives onto our property.


He and Cousin Bubba were out splashing in the kiddie pool:

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(he slays me - goggles, an inner tube, and a life jacket… for water that reaches his knees.  We’re all about safety these days)

 

…until an unknown combatant entered their field of view.

The next thing I knew, he was tearing up the back porch and into the kitchen – a big slippery dripping mess of crazed kid.

 

“THE COLLEGE GUY IS HERE!  THE COLLEGE GUY IS HERE!”

 

I was baffled at his screaming and took two steps out the door to see a shamefaced young man with a clipboard and backpack – with his hands in the air as if he expected to be shot.

(Well… the boys DID have water guns).

 

He looked harmless enough and every single thing he was wearing and carrying screamed SALESMAN.

 

So my husband’s first thought was to…

 

offer him a chair

???????

 

I was thoroughly confused.

(again).

 

The kid engaged in small talk about the hometowns, got splashed by some rogue boys, and gave his spiel while melting in the hot sun.

 

And somehow walked away totally scoring a sale.

I sat there and marveled at my husband’s apparent kryptonite.

CURRICULUM.

 

Say it with me again.

 

My husband bought CURRICULUM.

 

(Though in his defense, it wasn’t the $2000 Hoover the neighbors did).

 

 

And as the kid was leaving, he said he’d drop off the shipment next week.  Then casually remarked,

“then we can look at the stuff and we can have a party”.

 

Party.

 

He just said PARTY.

 

And I’m totally afraid of where my husband is going to go with that.

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